Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
