your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
