This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
