Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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