Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
be right there i have to get my cape
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
