im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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