I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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