no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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