Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize