oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
