I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
