I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
