If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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