So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
