i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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