My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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