Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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