Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
