ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
