I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
