My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
