Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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