i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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