so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My ass is underappreciated
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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