it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
