There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize