This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
