i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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