If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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