My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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