You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he thought i was a dude.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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