Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
