So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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