Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
