the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
