Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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