he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
