why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
