I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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