stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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