I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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