you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
