i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize