erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
