Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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