Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
