i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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