Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
