you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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