i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Did I show you my penis last night?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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