wat bout pragnant strippers??
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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