i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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