guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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