There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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