i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize