dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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