YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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