btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
