brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
