dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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