The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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