He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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