Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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