its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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