She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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