You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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