So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
